“It is time to self-convene, to draw together the parts of myself that will be your parts also. It is time to put myself to work for you,” I say, sandwich crumbs fireworking from my mouthhole. My eyes widen, whitening with silver winter light.

Your nose dips into your coffee as you attempt both to look down, away from me, and sip. The barista cleans a glass.

“Listen,” I tell you, gesturing with the sandwich. “That’s why WhatAWordIsFor.com is around. This is important. I’m a creative guy.”

The bread flops like grandma lips, puckered in crust. Inside is grandma tongue, an angry meat, griping at you as grandma did when you were small and new.

“Sonny,” you almost hear me say, “this is where you’re gonna find me to help find yourself. This is where the work will come from. It’s part of a network of websites now — The Weird Salamander — and that’s just that.”

The barista squeaks a hand-towel over a plate, rotates the plate. I take another sandwich bite.

“What do you mean you’re gonna put yourself to work for me?” you say. “What do you mean find myself?”

“I mean I’m available now,” I say. “I’m available to work. I’m gathering all my skills up as a Creative Director and I’m giving them to you and I’m going to write about them on WhatAWordIsFor.com and also really beef up the network, you know, get The Weird Salamander up and going.”


“Yeah, it is okay. It’s going to be okay for sure. This site will be the place where you can read about my creative endeavors and thoughts on what it means to be creative for people, real humans, not just for the yearning obsessive fire in my belly or for the need for things to be aesthetically pleasing and functional. Not just another creative resource, but a narrative set to solve the truer creative problems of the world with a history of how we encounter them. You know?”


“Let’s promise each other we’ll find ourselves back here regularly.”

“I can’t promise anything.”

“Well, I can. And that’s how you’ll find yourself again. Returning to learn what a creative director thinks about the work he makes and encounters.”

“I might come back again? I’m just trying to have a coffee, here. We’ve never met.”

I put my sandwich down. The barista is still. Our eyes lock and you can tell my age, my determination, my nebulous want to be helpful.

“Let me introduce you to the newly self-convened me: hello. This is a website where I will talk about creativity.”